Impromptu… I AM

Today,  is my first impromptu post. For the last two hours, I have been in my head about who I am not.

I am not a wife. I am not athletic. I am not a Master degree holder. I am not in a relationship. I am not a bridesmaid. I am not a size four. I am not a homeowner. I am not the beloved colleague. I am not a mother. I am not a famous blogger, tree climbing cool kid, and fashion influencer (What? I really dream of these things!)

I am not so many things… I promise you haven’t just joined my pity party, unwillingly, but I did want to be vulnerable in the many thoughts and the rabbit hole I am coming up from.

A while back I wrote 100 things I am thankful for. I don’t know if I will get to 100 “I am” statements today, but it is imperative for me to publicly proclaim who I am. I wanted to call a friend and vent all the frustrations I am feeling. I wanted to phone her and say how it’s even more frustrating that the things bugging me may be months old, or situations I thought I were over. However, the spirit led me to the burning bush. In Exodus 3:14 the Lord replies to Moses to tell the people that the God speaking to him is called “ I AM WHO I AM”.

I am still wrapping my mind around what all this means, but I know some of it. God was declaring to Moses how powerful he is, he was showcasing how he is the ultimate self-existence. God was never influenced by anything, his presence is immediate. His presence is infinite. God will never be influenced by any environment or human factors like I am. His existence isn’t contingent upon anyone or anything else. He is love. He is never changing!

And I am connected to God. “A daughter of the King” as so many like to throw around. I am an heir to the throne he sits on. Insert any other Proverbs 31 type statement here. So five months ago, when the New Year hit and I was crying from a broken heart and new life transition. I picked up that “ Godfidence” would be the word for this year.  Yet and still, confidence is an ongoing issue hitting me from all sides. However, I am choosing to believe, choosing to know that I am connected to the greatness of the Holy Lord above. I am connected to his energy. Have you ever thought about how he is the one who created energy?

Now I plan to type who I am. Even when doubt creeps in, or self judgement, or the urge to delete… I will not because I am CHRISTie. Yet not I, but through Christ in me! He is using me, and although this time with him isn’t fully intimate, I pray it is changing my thinking. May you renew my mind and have me think on things that are noble and good even if those things are about me!

1. I am beautiful
2. I am black
3. I am white
4. I am enough
5. I am worthy
6. I am important
7. I am invited
8. I am professional
9. I am active
10. I am growing
11. I am wise
12. I am okay
13. I am loved
14. I am blessed
15. I am sanctified
16. I am breathing
17. I am a traveler
18. I am passionate
19. I am a singer
20. I am a reflection of him
21. I am regarded
22. I am righteous
23. I am forgiven
24. I am empowered
25. I am interesting
26. I am admirable
27. I am learning
28. I am exciting
29. I am desired
30. I am thought of
31. I am a vessel
32. I am purposeful
33. I am covered
34. I am strong
35. I am unique
36. I am courageous
37. I am a good friend
38. I am helpful
39. I am safe
40. I am baptized
41. I am affirmed
42. I am celebrated
43. I am history
44. I am present
45. I am the future
46. I am free
47. I am smart
48. I am able
49. I am still
50. I am alive
51. I am powerful
52. I am a visionary
53. I am light
54. I am treasured
55. I am honored
56. I am redeemed
57. I am creative
58. I am a great aunt
59. I am flexible
60. I am renewed
61. I am child-like
62. I am determined
63. I am humble
64. I am proud
65. I am a believer
66. I am healed
67. I am leading
68. I am following
69. I am cared for
70. I am caring
71. I am mobile
72. I am real
73. I am inquisitive
74. I am reborn
75. I am spiritual
76. I am religious
77. I am steadfast
78. I am an influencer
79. I am a witness
80. I am kept
81. I am fearless
82. I am full
83. I am here
84. I am a teacher
85. I am a cool kid
86. I am communicative
87. I am a priority
88. I am a good writer
89. I am rich
90. I am divine
91. I am deep
92. I am victorious
93. I am hopeful
94. I am faithful
95. I am cute
96. I am fashionable
97. I am appointed
98. I am chosen
99. I am ready
100. I am positive